Long-Distance Relationships - By Anonymous
Where to begin?

Hoping that I could get some insight into my situation/story at hand. I had just returned from a long vacation home where I had a run in with my ex-fiancee. We hooked up and it was fantastic up until just before we ripped each other's hearts out all over again. I was devastated, but felt like it was finally time to let go. However, the future seemed grim.

Once I got back to where I am currently living (Germany), I went on tour with my band and low-and-behold on our very first night playing a concert, I felt a very strong connection to someone in the other band, the hunky one. For the sake of rock and roll, we had a few drinks (a lot), danced to music, witnessed an impromptu sumo wrestling match, and ended up at the hotel for the dubious "one night stand"-- or so I thought. It was great, but I honestly thought I would never see him again....Wrong! Apparently, we had to have breakfast together as the promoters had organized the event. During the entire meal, we were glancing towards each other, but didn't really talk at all. Once the meal was done, their band left. I just sat there on the stage once all of their equipment was gone. I realized I hadn't asked him for an email, facebook, or phone number. We hadn't exchanged any information.

The next day, I finally had access to internet. In my inbox was a message from him. He had somehow found me!!!

However, what was in the email was shocking. After reminiscing about our evening, he admitted to being in a relationship, but that it was on the rocks. He said that he would like to keep in touch if I was interested because I seemed like a cool and interesting person. I was "that girl", and I decided to continue talking. I couldn't ignore the connection.

Since then, he has moved from country X (same as his GF) to Sweden (away from GF) for work purposes. In the course of 2 months, we have sent over 400 emails to each other, and play video games on our iPhones against each other daily. We also Skype and send videos of our concerts to one another. A simple game of playing 20 questions turned into asking well into the hundreds. I felt like I was getting to know him better and I started to romanticize the relationship. I finally asked him the sticky question after I saw that on facebook, that he still had a GF....It just didn't make sense when were Skyping to each other late at night right before we went to sleep and sending texts to each other constantly throughout the day. He was flirting with me and I with him, but I didn't want to be dishonest to myself, nor be with someone who wanted to string me along. He was honest again and told me that he would get around to it. One week later he finally told me that he was "no longer in a relationship" and was looking forward to starting a new chapter in his life.

After two months he is finally coming to visit me next week. I am not sure what the next step should be while he is here.

Obviously I would like to have fun and just share a few days of life with this man, but is there something that I should be expecting?

I am tempted to ask him to be my LDR boyfriend, but I have no idea how to even bring this topic up. After all, we have only met ONCE for ONE night. He is always on the road or on tour so being away from each other is something that we would constantly have to deal with.

Do you think it would be better to just have fun this time around?
Does it seem more reasonable to try to arrange for a next trip before he leaves?
Would it make sense to travel back and forth a few times and then have a talk about commitment? -- like say after 2-3 visits?
Any hints or clues to know if he is interested as well?
How do I even bring this stuff up?
Also, he just got out of a 4 year long term relationship... gah!

I mean, I have no problems picking my stuff and leaving in the long term if stuff did work out...as long as he was committed as well. I've moved across the world by myself and I did that-- no job no money no language skills and I am still here and working a great job.

Dazed and confused on cloud nine

1 Comments    •    Post a comment    •   

Romance Chatz