How To Cope With An Arrogant, Lazy And Dirty Brother In-Law? - By Anonymous
i live abroad with my husband of 9months, and his younger brother (20yrs old) who is studying here. the problem i have is this, this boy talks rudely, does not wash or clean anything, he prefers sleeping and waking up in mess and he doesn't care,we are not friends because he doesn't talk to me but he eats my food, i stopped dishing his food cos sometimes when you tell him his food is dished he will tell me he doesn't want to eat and he goes out to buy fast-food or something. he makes a mess of the dustbin and he doesn't take it out. he leaves his plate unwashed when he eats, whenever he bathes the bathroom is always in a mess and i take my time to clean the house everyday. i was mad one day when i pepared a particular food for my husband which said he doesn't eat, i went to rest and by the time i was out he was eating the food and messed the kitchen up,God i was furious but i didn't say a word, i just made another meal for my husband. and he is used to eating more than 1 meat or if we have two left in the pot, he will just eat the whole thing. and lastly i hate the way he looks at me like he wants to know why i stand up, sit, walk or even stand. he doesn't knock when he want to come into our room, he is always behaving like shebi its my brothers money or stuff. im so fed up. LIVING WITH INLAWS HAS NEVER BEEN EASY ACCORDING TO WHAT PEOPLE SAY. i feel like going back to naija, cos i dont have any privacy here.
everyone that knows me knows i am a very nice person, i have tired to make friends with me but he is just too wierd for my liking,but i dont like when people cant put themselves in their place.

Whenever i tell my husband that his bro has done this or that he will tell me to keep quiet, and he doesn't correct him, he sees all these things too.

I think i needed to tell you my story because i am about explode. i have been bottling this up for a long time.

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lovepark...
u also have brothers in so kind of difficulty or the other, so try and live with him and make the best out of him and u will come out victorious....
fawoled...
My dear, its not about abroad or not, my brother in law is lazy arrogant (NOT DIRTY), my husband claims its because the guy doesn't like been a dependent...I noticed this trait before we got married, he was living with his parent, he had to come and live with us. He is 29, not in school nor work. Shamelessly sleeps all day, leaves his mess...competes with my kids for games, videos, snacks etc
Just keep praying for patience cos even here, you wl be asked to handle him as ur husband and be blamed for reacting otherwise.
For the sake of your husband, try to relate wt him nd just pretend he is a special need person and you will be able to deal with him even to the point of asking if u can do more for him. God will help us all with in laws especially when we have husbands who deserve better
okedgrea...
Unlike our own family members, we can pick the type of family members we marry into. You probably didn't research your husband's family well before marrying him. Anyway shelf that under "Lessons Learned".
lucyzigg...
I live abroad also and I lived with my elder brother for 6 years before I moved out and now living alone. You should try and have a word because to me it is very uncomfortable not speaking with someone under a roof. Try not to look at anything he does when having a word with him. Be matured and tell him things you don't like and how you both can work together in the house. This is because of your husband,his brother, he is in the middle it isn't fair on him. And am sure he also would like peace. Here is not Nigeria where there are relatives to go to.
abl_hazo...
A bit of an advice,ignore him and keep doing what you know how to do best, in addition his not your in laws fault,check your husband and think about the conversation they have together when you are not there . Am still single but have learnt that you can't be value free when it comes to marriage and please remember committing to staying calm is the first key to committing to staying married. Stay blessed
amicee20...
The best tin 2 do is to try as possible as u. Can to ignore him and love him. Now let's look at it this way assuming he was ur own younger brother, definitely u won't complain cos u will tolerate him. Just get used to him and treat him like ur own brother. Ok if he was ur son u will still not complain. Do ur house job and don't look at him,cos he won't stay with u forever. And stop telling ur hubby, he might be thinking u don't like his brother. Don't come back to niga cos it will be worst. Most importantly be prayerful n also be praying for him. Tanx